“It’s the story I wish I’d never been given to share . . . 
the story I wish I had no reason to write.”

On Writing the Book and the Blog 

by Beth Saadati

It’s a lonely place, a relearning of world in the aftermath of loss. It’s knowing words forever fail to harness the life of one once so wondrously alive. It’s a high-cost hurting in head, a tearing of heart, a doubting of how many times I can reenter memory and relive pain before I no longer feel or it becomes more than I can bear. 

It’s continual scar, the peeling off of scab and reopening of wound to let blood bleed onto page, then a not-quite healing before doing it again. It’s tear-stained face and the question that taunts “Is this worth it?” wondering whether story will speak to any soul other than my own. It’s trying to make sense of mess and find meaning in madness beneath the heart-scream that says surely something beautiful will still be birthed from death. 

photo courtesy of Mary Denman

At the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference in May, 2015, BelieversTrust presented Beth with the Beyond the Steeple Award, given for the work deemed to hold the greatest potential to impact a mainstream audience, for her YA novel, Breathe. The novel incorporates Jenna’s writings and is based on Jenna’s true story.

Rebeca Seitz, president and CEO of BelieversTrust, wrote this about the novel:

“Right away, Beth's writing stilled me. It is stark. Naked. Unadorned. But moving. After hours of reading through entries, her words caught my mind and did not let go. When I went back to read her cover letter and synopsis, I learned that her story of bullying is birthed from a mother’s heart who has survived her daughter’s death, and it is informed by decades of service as a high school teacher. This writer may, literally, save lives through story.” 

As Beth works to complete the novel's manuscript, prayers that the story would reach whomever it is meant to are both coveted and appreciated.


  1. Praying that the Lord will touch others through your story. Carol

    1. Thanks so much, Carol. That's my hope, too, and the reason I write. The support and intercession of many is causing this to begin to come true.

  2. I was struck immediately by the candor in your writings and just marathoned each entry. I can only imagine how difficult the process is of reopening wounds to show others how they heal; but I pray God blesses you with courage and strength as you continue this journey. "Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence." Ps 42:5b, NASB

    1. Thank you, Dawn, for marathoning. (I love the way you said that.) I'm touched that you would.

      Wording the story does come at a cost. But it's worth it. The verse is perfect. His hope and presence are what I long for. That's what carries me through.